I'm sometimes not sure if it's just that romantic comedies have given me unrealistic ideas about love, or if what we have isn't the right kind of love.
I have no difficulty believing you love me, none at all. But I do wonder, is it enough?
Before we were together you told me you didn't think you could love me, not the way a man loves a woman. That you thought our love could be limited to that of close friends.
So, I guess that begs the question, what changed? I'm the same as ever. Different hair maybe, but the same clothes, same personality, same heart. You're the same as always, fuck, you haven't even really changed in appearance.
Sometimes I consider just ending things here and now. After all, I cried over you a lot when we were friends anyway, and nothing's changed. I'm sure I could cry over you, my ex boyfriend just as well.
Would it be better? Would it hurt more to break up with you, or to have you break up with me when you meet someone new? I guess it's my fault really. I wanted you when you were in a relationship, and I couldn't help but be happy when you ended it. The whole time leading up to us, I was chasing you, but what I was craving was to be chased. Even now, if I mention breaking up...
Something tells me you wouldn't follow, you wouldn't chase. Not because you don't care about me, though i think that itself is the worst part.
I know you care about me, so much. What kills me, is knowing how much you love me, and feeling it as a friend, a lover even. And for now thats enough I think.
I guess when the time comes, I can either accept that you'll never be in love with me, or I can't.
