I'm becoming more and more disbelieving of love every day that passes.

I thought that maybe I just wasn't looking hard enough. Maybe I just needed to pay more attention. But I'm really starting to think that maybe it really doesn't exist.

We went to party last night, and despite the fact that I had a good night, I've walked away with a bad taste in my mouth. I mean, maybe it's just me, but I've always thought, if you're going to marry someone.. Then maybe it should be someone who you're actually committed to spend the rest of your life with. Apparently, only unmarried people think like that. Or so one would think, given the guy who tried to get me to fuck him in a bathroom. Or the other guy who used his wife's phone to text "Come back so I can fuck you" after we'd left. And you know, apparently I'm enough of a slut that more than one person felt the need to ask if anything had happened. Because I guess everyone thinks I'm that kind of girl.

I hate that people can stand in front of their friends and family, vowing to love one person forever, but then think nothing of cheating. I want to see a marriage that isn't a lie. I want to see love, I want to feel it. I want something to hope for, I need something to reaffirm that love isn't just a four letter word that people toss around.